Valley of the Muse

What is success? How do you measure it? Define it?

Are you satisfied with your efforts?

It’s easy to be encouraging and compassionate to a friend who says: “Here is my art. But it’s not good enough.” Maybe you remind them that they should celebrate the completion of a project. Or that others appreciate their efforts, including past sales or accolades.

Do you do this for yourself? Or are you dissatisfied because you haven’t made your millions yet?

I came across an excellent article on learning to love yourself and was struck by the difference between healthy and unhealthy behaviours towards your goals and accomplishments.

Healthy – You set goals for yourself that encourage you to grow and stretch. You accept and love yourself as you are but know that you can always be better.
Unhealthy – You are constantly beating yourself up because you believe that you need to overwork or punish yourself for not being “good enough”. You believe you have to achieve these unrealistic goals to be “worthy”.

From Learning to Love Yourself Again by Cindy Sense.

Do you acknowledge what you’ve accomplished so far in your life? When do you allow yourself to celebrate? When you’ve had a once in a lifetime experience? Do you ever celebrate the small steps you had to take to get to where you are now?

If you have low self-esteem, the unhealthy behaviours from above can skew your perceptions and make it seem that you’re worthless and haven’t accomplished anything. Here’s an exercise that might help you gain a more balanced view of your daily accomplishments and successes:

Exercise: A “What I Have Accomplished Today” Journal

Years ago, on a now unfortunately defunct organization forum, I came across this deceptively simple exercise. The “What I Have Accomplished Today” journal is exactly what it sounds. All you have to do at the end of each day is record what you’ve done. Use either an electronic format or a paper journal, but make sure it’s something that you can refer to, especially as each day adds up. My preference for this is a paper journal, and each page represents one day of accomplishments, because I find it helps you to really see what you’re doing. You can also decide if it should just include your creative endeavours, or if you’re feeling particularly self-loathing, you may want to include everything from getting out of bed to eating to going to work.

I’ve used one of these journals off and on for years, and pull it out when I’m feeling particularly insecure about my value and self-worth. And while my self-worth shouldn’t be connected to my levels of productivity, the reminder the journal provides assures me that I can’t allow a blanket self-assessment of being a failure guide my thoughts, which unfortunately on really bad days is what sometimes happens. The journal provides evidence of accomplishments and that every 100 words I write for a story or blog post contributes to my goals and is worthy of celebration.

And this is exactly what I tell my friends and clients who are struggling to believe in themselves.

Will you celebrate your achievements with me?

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Tags: Coaching, Creativity, Personal Development, Practical Methodology